Parenting Your Teen in an Age of Social Media

screen-shot-2017-02-16-at-11-35-04-amSocial media is one of the great parenting challenges since most of us grew up well before social media and always connected devices were common. Teaching your child how to be responsible online will continue to be a struggle as new social media platforms create new challenges. National PTA’s The Smart Talk, created in partnership with LifeLock, can help families set up guidelines for online behavior.

Kari Kampakis, a blogger and author of the book Parenting Your Teen in an Age of Social Media, recently posted a list of five guiding principles to use in teaching our children to be safe and responsible online. These principles are aimed at having our children develop the habits and skills to know how to have their online presence be safe and healthy, just like we teach our children to be safe in the real world. These five principles are:

  1. Remember your reputation is at stake. Every choice you make reveals your character.
  2. Consider three questions before you post: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
  3. Seek to be kind, not popular.
  4. If you aren’t feeling the love, stay off social media.
  5. Social media should supplement your relationships, not replace them.

Mrs. Kampakis’s article goes into depth on each of these principles. Each point also provides a jumping off point for you to have a conversation with your child about social media, online behavior, and responsibility. Finally, it is important that we as adults set a good example of positive behavior online. Our children learn much more from what we do than from what we say.

Photo courtesy of Wesley Fryer under Creative Commons license.

Cyberbullying is Not a Technology Issue

Cyberbullying—bullying behavior committed through social media, apps, and other online activities—is increasingly common. According to several research studies, over half of teens say they have been victims of cyberbullying. Illinois PTA has provided information for families on cyberbullying and how to identify the warning signs of cyberbullying. Because of its online nature, it’s easy to think of cyberbullying as a technology, but a recent article on LinkedIn by Reginald S. Corbitt says that cyberbullying is a social issue, not a technological one.

Mr. Corbitt, the founder of SafeCyber, an organization that aims to educate communities about online safety, notes that cyberbullying is not separate from bullying. It is simply bullying in another form, and as such is about relationship power and control. Such bullying is also known as Relational Bullying. Relational Bullying is more common among girls, and uses social manipulation such as group exclusion, spreading rumors, sharing secrets, and recruiting others to dislike a person. It can be used by bullies to improve their social standing and to control others.

Mr. Corbitt suggests two keys to addressing cyberbullying. The first is teaching social and emotional resilience in our schools and communities. Illinois PTA has discussed how to build social and emotional learning and problem solving skills in children, and Illinois was the first state in the nation to have social and emotional learning standards for all grades from Pre-K through high school. These skills provide students the tools they need to address, prevent, and intervene in bullying and cyberbullying situations.

The second key is creating partnerships between schools, families, and community organizations like PTA that allow for open discussions of bullying both online and offline and provide opportunities to education everyone involved in a child’s life on the topic. As Mr. Corbitt notes, one middle school principal in Maryland states that he and his administration spend 85% of their time dealing with conflicts between students that began on social media or in text messages. National PTA’s Connect for Respect is a ready-to-use program to facilitate discussions among families and among students on bullying issues.

Finally, Mr. Corbitt notes that because cyberbullying is about behavior and not technology, it is important that efforts to address the problem focus on the enhancement of positive relationships and the development of behavioral skills. He also notes that it is also important for adults to set an example with their behavior, as our children will do what you do quicker than they will do what you say.

Know the Cyberbullying Warning Signs

Bullying on the playground or in the classroom can be seen. Cyberbullying—bullying online through social media, apps, and other online activities—is a lot harder for teachers or parents to spot. A 2013 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report indicated that 15% of high school students had experienced cyberbullying in the past year.

Most of the time, teachers and families only find out about cyberbullying after a physical altercation at school or some other social function. Since parents and other adults in children’s lives don’t have experience from their own childhood to draw on when dealing with cyberbullying and likely aren’t even aware of the latest app, much less its potential for harm, it is important to learn the warning signs of cyberbullying.

The Cyberbullying Research Center has an information sheet for families detailing the warning signs of your child being cyberbullied or being a cyberbully themselves. The signs your child may be being cyberbullied include:

  • Unexpectedly stop using their device(s)
  • Appearing nervous or jumpy when using their device(s)
  • Appearing uneasy about going to school or outside in general
  • Appearing emotionally upset after being online (including online gaming)
  • Becomes abnormally withdrawn from usual friends and family members
  • Frequently calls or texts from school requesting to go home ill

Illinois PTA has shared how to handle cyberbullying previously, which included additional resources: National PTA’s Connect for Respect program, stopbullying.gov cyberbullying resources, and other materials from the Cyberbullying Research Center in addition to their warning signs sheet. All of these resources can help you be informed and deal with a cyberbullying problem with your child.

Another Year of Legislative Success for the Children of Illinois!

takesactionheader_final_1050px-crop-2From youth safety issues to juvenile justice, from children’s health to readiness for college and the work-force, from childhood hunger to an interim budget in a year of fiscal deadlock, the Illinois PTA has advocated successfully for all our children. The highlights are below. Illinois PTA will continue to advocate for every child, and urges you to join us this fall for Illinois PTA Advocacy Day in Springfield on November 15, 2016.

Children’s Health and Safety

We have had successes in responses to children’s allergies and asthma, concussions, and childhood hunger.

Epinephrine Auto-Injectors: With as much as 25% of first time anaphylactic reactions occurring in a school setting, we cannot stress the need enough for the availability of undesignated epinephrine auto-injectors. House Bill 4462, Epinephrine Auto-Injectors, now Public Act 99-0711, expands the protections currently in place to include additional circumstances in which a school district, public, or nonpublic school may have a supply of undesignated epinephrine auto-injectors available in a secure location so that they are accessible before, during, and after school, including while being transported on a school bus. The statue also provides for the training of state police in the administration of epinephrine auto-injectors. The expansions provided in PA 99-0711 will help prevent injury from a severe allergic reaction by Illinois children.

Asthma: On a related issue, students with asthma will now have additional safety measures in place. House Bill 6333, School Code–Asthma Action Plan, now Public Act 99-0843, provides for additional safety protocols with the requirements that:

  • the State Board of Education work with statewide professional organizations that have asthma management expertise to develop a model asthma episode emergency response protocol;
  • each school district, charter school, and nonpublic school adopt an asthma episode emergency response protocol before 1/1/2017 that includes the components of the State Board’s model;
  • all school personnel who work with pupils to complete a program every two years concerning asthma management, prevention, and emergency response; and that,
  • each school district, public, charter, or nonpublic school request an asthma action plan from the parents or guardians of a pupil with asthma each year.

Concussions: According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), as many as 3.9 million sports and recreation related concussions occur in the US annually. They are one of the most commonly reported injuries in children and adolescents who participate in sports and recreational activities. House Bill 4365, IHSA Concussion Reporting, now Public Act 99-0831, amends the Interscholastic Athletic Organization Act to provide for the enhanced reporting of student-athletes who have sustained a concussion. Beginning with the current school year, all member schools that have certified athletic trainers are required to complete a monthly report on student athletes at that school who sustained a concussion during a school-sponsored activity that is either overseen by the athletic trainer or when the athletic director is made aware of a concussion sustained by a student during a school-sponsored (with student names removed). Beginning in 2017-2018, the data is to be compiled from the prior school year into annual report to the Illinois General Assembly. Is the legislature considering further protections for our children once they receive these reports? We will continue to monitor this topic for future legislation.

Childhood Hunger: Children don’t do well in school if they’re hungry. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the lack of adequate healthy food can impair a child’s ability to concentrate and perform well in school, and is linked to higher levels of behavioral and emotional problems from preschool through adolescence. Approximately 1 in 5 Illinois children are affected by hunger. Senate Bill 2393, Childhood Hunger–Breakfast, now Public Act 99-0850, is intended to help with this ongoing issue. PA 99-0850, amends the Childhood Hunger Relief Act to provide for “breakfast after the bell” program beginning with the 2017-2018 school year, according to a model that best suits its students. This Act also provides that the Illinois State Board of Education is to:

  • collaborate with school districts and nonprofit organizations knowledgeable about equity, the opportunity gap, hunger and food security issues, and best practices for improving student access to school breakfast;
  • distribute guidelines for the program’s implementation; and,
  • post a list of opportunities for philanthropic support of school breakfast programs on its website.

The statute also allows schools and school districts to opt out under certain circumstances.

Education

Two new statutes have been enacted to address student achievement in Illinois.

College and Workforce Readiness: The lack of readiness for college and/or the workforce is a concern for parents, students, and employers across Illinois. Approximately one-half of Illinois high school graduates entering as full-time freshmen in Illinois public community colleges require remedial education. House Bill 5729, creates the Post-Secondary and Workforce Readiness Act (Public Act 99-0674). The statute is a plan to address these student achievement concerns by creating:

  • a postsecondary career expectations model to be adopted for public school students in grades 8 through 12, defining activities where school districts, parents, and community-based organizations should support students, and the related knowledge students should have;
  • a pilot program for competency-based high school graduation requirements;
  • transitional mathematics courses from high school to college level;
  • a statewide panel that will include ISBE to recommend competencies for reading, and communication and strategies for achieving this in high school coursework; and,
  • College and Career Pathway Endorsements and State Distinction programs to provide student incentives and encourage their exploration and development.

After-School Program Grants: Senate Bill 2407, Department of Human Services–Teen REACH Grant Program, now Public Act 99-0700, amends the Department of Human Services Act to provide that, subject to appropriation, DHS will establish a establish a competitive state grant program—Teen Responsibility, Education, Achievement, Caring, and Hope (Teen REACH)—to support local communities in providing after-school opportunities for youth 6 to 17 years old that will improve their likelihood for future success, provide positive choices, reduce at-risk behaviors, and develop career goals. These grants are to be awarded to community-based agencies, in which successful grantees are to plan and implement activities to address outcomes in 6 core areas: improvement of educational performance; life skills education; parent education; recreation, sports, cultural, and artistic activities; the development of positive adult mentors; and service learning opportunities. 

Juvenile Justice

We have been successful in advocating for justice-involved youth in relation to the reporting of serious incidents impacting their health and well-being, legal representation, and expungement of records.

Critical Incidents While in the Juvenile Justice System: With the passage of House Bill 114, Juvenile Court–Critical Incident Report, now Public Act 99-0664, provides additional protections to a minor who is committed to the Department of Juvenile Justice. These protections include the Department notifying the court in writing of a critical incident which involves a serious risk to the life health or well-being of the youth within 10 days of the incident. The report is to include the actions the Department took in response to the incident.

Legal Representation for Youth: Research has shown that children do not understand the “Miranda warning,” do not understand the implications of making a statement to the police, and are more likely than adults to make a false confession. Senate Bill 2370, Juvenile Court–Counsel Representation, now Public Act 99-0882, requires that:

  • children under 15 be represented by legal counsel during custodial interrogations for homicide and sex offenses,
  • all interrogations of youths under age 18 for any felony and misdemeanor sex offenses be videotaped, and
  • police read children the new Miranda-type warning detailed in the statute.

While Illinois PTA does not believe this bill went far enough in protecting the rights of children in police custody, it is a move in the right direction.

Expungement of Juvenile Records: House Bill 5017, Juvenile Court–Expungement, now Public Act 99-0835, amends the Juvenile Court Act of 1987 to provide that whenever a person has been arrested, charged, or adjudicated delinquent for an incident that occurred before she or he turned 18 that would be an offense if committed by an adult, that person may petition the court for the expungement of related law enforcement and juvenile court proceedings. Once the related juvenile court proceedings have ended, the court is to order the expungement of all related records in the possession of the Department of State Police, the Clerk of the Circuit Court, and law enforcement agencies for those circumstance specified under the act.

State Budget

Thank you to those of you who helped seek the passage of an adequate and sustainable budget in Illinois in a year of grid-lock and finger-pointing. Over 2,000 messages were sent by Illinois PTA supporters to legislators, the governor, and local newspapers regarding the need to support education, after school programs, and services for families and children with an adequate and sustainable budget. This created an atmosphere where there was at least some movement in a difficult year: the passage of a stop-gap budget with Senate Bill 2047 which provided funding through December, including for school funding, the Illinois State Board of Education, and state colleges. Is this enough? Absolutely not. We need an adequate and sustainable fully-funded budget to ensure that our children and Illinois families thrive and that schools, colleges and universities, and public service providers can plan for the future.

How can you help? Join the Illinois PTA Takes Action Network to stay up to date on Illinois issues and plan to join us for Illinois PTA Advocacy Day in Springfield on Tuesday, November 15, 2016.

Questions concerning advocacy issues? Please contact Illinois PTA Legislative Advocacy Director Lisa Garbaty at lgarbaty@illinoispta.org.